


Hi, My Name Is Archimedes

by Emilythedog661



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Adorable, Archimedes POV, Archimedes' Story, Birds, Cute, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2018-12-31 22:47:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12142773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emilythedog661/pseuds/Emilythedog661
Summary: This is a story about everyone's favourite white blood stained dove Archimedes





	Hi, My Name Is Archimedes

**Author's Note:**

> Making this cause we need more stories on archimedes (and sir hootsalot)

Hello, my name is archimedes and this is how i met my daddy and my lover sir hootsalot

when i was a baby i was kept in a cage and i was used to fly away during this strange thing humans do called weddings, i never really got it myself but what i can guess its how the humans show their love to each other and it was weird but i didn't care as long i got some food afterwards, then one day when a wedding was going on a strange drunk guy (my daddy) came over to the van thing i and my brothers and sisters was kept in, he got in the front bit where the person goes to drive and he drove off with us still inside, we kept going and going till we stopped and the van thing didn't move for a really long time, me and my siblings were really confused but we then fell asleep from the boredom, a long while later the doors open to the van thing and the drunk guy was standing there not as drunk as before, he looks at all of us then he takes all of us into a big place, the place looked like a very big vet but for humans, after he sets all the cages down he opens then all and all my siblings flew to the top of the room, i stayed on the cage looking at my sibling fly to the top of the room then the guy puts his hand out in front of me, i was hesitate but i jumped on the guy's hand and he lifts me to his face

"you are a cute little dove" he says and he pets me on the head

i've never been petted before and this pet felt nice, the guy had a strange accent but i didn't mind, he then puts me down back on the cage and walks out the room, i tilt my head in confusion on why he leaves so i wait for him to come back, when he returns he has a bag of something, he puts the bag on the floor and he opens the bag, all of a sudden a smell of seeds come out of the bag and me with my siblings can smell the seeds, we all fly over to the seed bag and wait on the floor, the guy pours the seeds onto the floor and we all start eating the seeds, the seeds were really tasty and after we ate the seeds all my siblings flew back up onto the top of the room, i stayed on the floor to finish off the seeds and then the guy walks over to his strange table with a cloth over it, i watch him as he goes over to the table and then i fly over to a table and chair, i land on the chair and watch as he lifts the cloth off, underneath the cloth was something amazing and it was a dead body, i smiled in my head then i flew into the open bit of the body

"what are you doing you silly dove?" the guy says as i was enjoying myself in the body, he then pick me up from the body "you are covered in blood my feathered friend" i look at myself and he was right "i think you deserve a name now let me think..."

a name? whats a name i thought as the human we had before used to call all of us 'F***ing sky rats' which didn't make any seance to us but we let it slide

"i know i will call you archimedes" the guy says and pets me on the head again

the name he gave me seem to fit but i didn't know why so i just shrug it off and enjoyed the head pets, after petting me he puts me on his shoulder and he carried on doing his work on the dead body, i watched as the guy digs into the body

"by the way, my name is ludwig but you can call me daddy" the guy now named daddy says 

i have a daddy now but i don't really know what the name meant so i didn't care

"ok daddy" i cooed "what you doing?"

"i'm taking out the organs to this dead body that was sent to me" daddy says

i was surprised that he heard what i say, most humans can't understand animals since its a different language to human language

"you understood what i said?" i cooed in suprise

"ja cause i have no soul" daddy says

no soul? so humans can understand every language if they have no soul...whats a soul? i shrugged it off and carried on watching daddy play around with the dead body, as i was watching i felt something warm in my heart and it felt good, i think that feeling...was love

a few months later my daddy got a letter from a strange lady in purple, the letter said about accepting a job as a mercenary whatever that meant so my daddy packed up my siblings and his stuff, he then grabbed me and puts me in a small cage and we went into a van that was different to the van we came in, it was white and had weird red writing all over the van, my daddy put all my sibling and his stuff in the back of the van and then he put me in the front seat and he got in on the other side

"you ready to go archimedes?" he says to me

"i think so but where we going?" i cooed

"we going to our new job" daddy says

i didn't know what a job meant but i cooed happily then we were off, when we got there it was a little dark and we saw the strange lady in purple standing with some other guys, there was one with orange things and a hat thing on his head, one with a hat thing on but it was over his eyes, one strange creature i've never seen before, one with an thing over one of his eyes, a big scary guy, one with a yellow hat thing on, one with a thing over his whole face except his eyes and beak mouth thing and lastly one with a hat thing on and eyes things like the ones daddy has but they were bigger and yellow, the guy with the hat and eyes things on had a strange bird on his shoulder that looked around the same age as me, it was more fluffier then me and it looked friendly since the guy with the hat things and the eye things was petting it and the bird thing like it, daddy got out of the van thing after opening the glass thing on my side a bit and he went over to the strange lady

"hello, i'm miss pauling and i'm here to give you and everyone else here your jobs" the purple lady now called miss pauling says shaking daddy's hand

"ok shall we go" daddy says after the shake 

"yes come along everyone" miss pauling says and daddy with all the humans went inside

i was left confused why everyone was walking away then the bird thing that was on the guy with the hat and eye thing on landed on daddy's silver thing that was sticking out of the van thing

"hello" the bird says "i'm sir hootsalot and i'm a owl"

"hi" i cooed "i'm archimedes and i'm a dove"

sir hootalot has a strange accent like my daddy has but this accent was different

"looks like our daddies are going inside that building" sir hootsalot says

"yeah" i cooed "is your daddy the one with the hat and eye things on?" 

"yep his name is mundee" sir hootsalot says "hes here to be a sniper"

"strange my daddy never told me whys hes here" i cooed in confusion 

"well he'll probably tell you when he comes to get you" sir hootsalot says "why have you got red blobs on your feathers?"

"oh these are blood stains" i cooed "my daddy was always having dead bodies in his room and i went inside them"

"why?" sir hootsalot asked

"...i don't know" i cooed "i think i picked it up from daddy"

"oh ok" sir hootalot says 

then i can see daddy coming back to the van thing and me, he sees sir hootalot on the silver thing and he pets him on the head

"i see you been saying hi to each other" medic says 

"yeah this is sir hootalot, he belongs to the guy with the hat thing and the eye things" i cooed to daddy

"oh you mean sniper" daddy says "hes...uhh...hes alright i guess" and daddy starts to blush up

i didn't know why daddy was blushing up and sir hootsalot didn't know why neither, daddy then starts to unpack the van thing and take then inside the building, the second to last thing he collect was me in the cage and he lets me out when he takes the cage out of the van thing, i fly onto his shoulder and i rub my head agents his cheek which he smiled about, then before daddy was going to the back to sort out my sibling i heard someone run over and it was the sniper guy, sir hootsalot sees him and he flies over to him and lands on his shoulder

"hi hoots" sniper says and then he looks at daddy "hi doc"

"hallo herr sniper" daddy says "is this your owl? hes a lovely bird"

"yeah he is" sniper says and he pets sir hootalot on his head "his name is sir hootalot but i call him hoots for short"

"i think i'm going to call you hoots for now on" i coo at sir hootalot 

"yeah its easier to say" hoots says 

"what you doing out here anyway" daddy asked sniper

"i wanted to see where hoots was and to see if...umm...if you needed any help" sniper says looking blushed up

"umm...sure...you can help me take all my doves in" daddy says also blushing up "archimedes here isn't the only dove"

"ok mate" sniper says and both daddy and sniper help my sibling out by taking them inside

me and hoots were getting to know each other while our daddies sorted out my siblings and we bonded really quickly, after daddy and sniper sorted out my sibling daddy grabbed me and sniper grabbed hoots and we parted ways, when me and daddy walked for a bit we stopped at a door thing

"here it is Archimedes, your new home" daddy says and he opens the door

inside looked exactly the same as it did back in daddy's old lab but there was some new things i've never seen before, daddy goes over to the the table and puts me on the table

"this is where you'll be living for now on archimedes so you better get used to it like your siblings have" daddy says to me

"i like it if you like it" i coo in responce

daddy smiles at me and pets me on the head

"i do archimedes, i do" daddy says and then he leaves the room

i watch daddy leave and when he disappears i find a good place to rest for the night, when i find a spot next to the window i snuggle down and go to sleep, a month later in the morning i got woken up my the door things opening and i looked down to see daddy walking in the room, i coo then fly down to greet daddy

"hi archimedes" daddy says and he strokes my chest making me poof up

daddy then sits down at his chair thing and he was looking at a paper, the paper had pictures on it showing a strange thing and it confused me, then the guy with the yellow helmet now named engineer comes in the room

"here you go doc" engineer says "the heart thing you wanted me to make"

"danke engineer" daddy says taking the strange thing out of engineer's hand "this will help alot during battle"

"what is it exactly" engineer says confused

"its a device to help everyone be ubercharged" daddy says "which means that will be invincible but only for a few seconds"

"oh i see" engineer says and he smiles

"now i just someone to try it on" daddy says

then all of a sudden a lot of banging goes off outside and the big scary guy now named heavy walks into the room

"doktor" heavy says "gang of blu soldiers are attacking base"

"oh no" daddy says "engie you go out and help fight, heavy i need you for a moment"

"da doktor" heavy says

engineer leaves and daddy tells heavy to lie on the strange table, daddy then puts his strange thing called a medigun on heavy then opens him up, i was excited to have something to dive into again so when daddy looks away i went into heavy, after a while after told his story to heavy about how he lost his medical licence whatever that was i poked my head out and daddy got a little mad

"archimedes! no" he says and shoo me away making me sad

i then go and sit with my siblings while i watch daddy put the device as he calls it into heavy's heart, he puts it under the medigun and then it explodes causing some of the hear to hit me and i went flying, i landed on the floor but i wasn't hurt so i flew over to daddy's medigun, after shoving heavy's new heart into him heavy broke some if his rib cage

"oh don't be such a baby" daddy told heavy pinching his cheek "it'll grow back" he then faced me "no they don't" he said quietly

i tilt my head in confusion and fly away as daddy healed the heavy back up again, after he does that he puts on his white lab coat as he calls it and his backpack thingy, he heads outside with some of my siblings and i waited in the lab for him to return, when daddy does return a few minutes later he had the guy with the strange orange things on his head now called scout following him

"yo doc" scout says "me and the other were wondering if you can do the same to us as you did heavy"

"ok scout" daddy says and i watched as scout sits on the strange table

daddy then opens up scout and it was my chance  to dive into scout so i went in and daddy doesn't seem to notice, after daddy puts scout's new heart in he heals up scout and i was still inside so i was scared

"thanks doc" i feel scout say and he opens the door things "oh man, you would not believe how much this hurts"

"DADDY!" i cooed from scout

"archimedes?" i hear daddy say and then i hear movement "scout you got to come back in so i can get archimedes out of you"

scout does what he was told and he goes back in, after daddy opens him up again he puts his hand in scout and pulls me out

"ARCHIMEDES!" daddy says angrily "tell me where you are before you go and bury yourself in people" 

"ok daddy" i coo sadly and daddy puts me in my cage

"now you stay there until i've done with everyone" daddy says and he walks back to scout

daddy heals scout back up and scout leaves the room, i watched daddy put new hearts into the humans and after he was done he lets me out of thew cage

"archimedes" daddy says "i love you dearly but don't do that again you worried me"

"sorry daddy i will tell you next time i go into someone" i cooed

"i forgive you" daddy says and he pets me on the head

i enjoy the pets then sniper walks into the room even tho he has his heart thing after scout

"hi doc, i just came to check on you" sniper says "how's archimedes after he was in scout?"

"oh hi sniper" daddy says and he blushes a little "archimedes is okay, he's was just being mischievous"

sniper smiles then they was a tap on the window, daddy and sniper dont hear it but i do so i look on where the tap was coming from and it was hoots, i fly away and see hoots at the window

"hi archimedes" hoots says

"hi hoots haven't seen you in a while" i cooed at the owl

"yeah i been up at night since i'm nocturnal" hoot says

strangely i know what nocturnal mean since my mother told me about it when i was a chick

"oh i see" i cooed

"anyway do you want to hang out?" hoot says

"sure" i cooed in response and i get out of the room by a hole in the window

me and hoots fly over to a tree to look at the sky, the sky was strange at night since there were these strange white things in the sky but i didn't care and i just thought it looked pretty, then hoots starts grooming me on the head and i liked it, he then continues to groom me around my head and chest and it felt good, i'm always getting groomed by my sibling since they didn't like my blood stains but this felt different, i think it was cause hoots has a bigger beck but i was enjoying the groom to much to care, after the groom hoots stands there and looks around by moving his head, then i went to groom him but we touched becks instead, we looked at each other when this happened and we looked away with bird blushes on our faces, i then face hoots and start grooming his chest feathers, he seems to like it and he leans in to get groomed more, after a while i was starting to get tired so i was about to head to bed but then hoots stopped me

"you can sleep with me tonight if you want" hoots says 

"umm...sure" i coo in confusion but taking the offer

hoots hoots happily then he flies and i follow him, we end up going to a tree that is by a van thing that is different to daddy's van

"this is where me and my daddy live" hoots says when we land on the tree "it's weird but we like it here"

"it quite small but there is only you and your daddy living in there so i understand" i coo

hoots smiles then we snuggles up to each other and we fall asleep together, the next morning i wake up to the birds and look around, hoots was still asleep and it was a lovely day, then i see sniper walk up to his van

"hi sniper" i coo at him and he sees me

he smiles a hello smile then he goes inside his van but leaves the door thing open, hoots wakes up when he hears sniper step into his van

"is daddy back?" hoots asked sleepily 

"yeah sniper is in his van" i cooed

"good that means it's breakfast time" hoots says and he flies in the van

i follow then i land on the floor in the camper, i watch as sniper feed hoots what looks like to be a mouse or something and hoots eats it whole, then sniper sees me on the floor and he picks me up

"hello archimedes" sniper says and he rubs my chest which i loved

he then grabbed something and pulled out a wiggly thing

"looks like daddy is seeing if you like mealworms" hoots says from his perch "they are really tasty and daddy gives then to me as a treat"

sniper puts the worm in front of me and i eat it, it was the tastiest thing i ever eaten and i cooed happily, sniper smiles then he gives me another one with i accepted with happiness 

"ok that's enough" sniper says softly putting the mealworms away "you better get back to the doc before he becomes worried about you" 

"ok" i coo and i snuggle sniper's cheek before i fly off

"see you later" hoots says as i fly off

i fly over to my home and i get thought the crack in the window that i went out off, i see daddy doing something and i fly down to see him

"hi daddy" archimedes says landing on his shoulder and rubbing my head on daddy's cheek

"oh i was wondering where you got to archimedes" daddy says petting me on the head "where did you go?"

"i went to sleep with hoots after we groomed each other then earlier i met sniper who gave me attention and a wiggly thing called a mealworm" i cooed to daddy "it was really tasty and hoots likes them too"

"well that's nice to hear" daddy says and smiles "well i need to get to work" and daddy carries on what he was doing when i came into the room

a while later daddy was still working then the guy with the hat over his eyes now called soldier came into the room

"doc" soldier says "me and the others want to know if you want to go into town, we having a little party for engie's birthday"

"oh a party" daddy says happily "i love to go"

"great i go and tell engie" soldier says and he leaves 

"oh but who's going to look after you when i'm gone" daddy says to me 

"don't worry daddy, i can look after myself" i cooed confidently

"i know but i just want to leave you with someone so i know you'll ok" daddy says worried

i know daddy loves me and i understand why he's doing this so i coo happily then daddy smiles back, i then sit on daddy's shoulder and we head off to see who isn't going to this party thing that soldier mentioned, after talking to most of the humans that lived with us there was no luck since all of them were going to the party and the last human we needed to check was sniper so me and daddy went over to his van, when we get there we see sniper outside of his van on a chair drinking a thing

"hey sniper" daddy says "i was wondering if you were going to engie's party?"

"hey doc" sniper replies "no i'm staying here since i don't like parties" 

"oh good cause i was wondering if you'll look after archimedes for me while i'm gone" daddy says 

"sure i don't mind taking care of him" sniper says

daddy smiles and i fly over to sniper's sit on his hand, daddy then walks off and sniper strokes my chest

"if you want to know where hoots is" sniper says "he's inside my camper van asleep" 

i coo happily then i fly inside the van now called camper, i see hoots asleep on his perch and i fly over to join him, i snuggle up to him and he wakes up

"oh hi archimedes" hoots says "what are you doing here?"

"daddy is going to a party thing so sniper is looking after me while daddy is out" i coo

"oh good" hoot says and he puts his wing over me, i poof myself up and make myself comfy and then we both fell asleep again

me and hoots slept for quite a while when i could feel hoots waking up, i felt him stretch his wings then he flies out of the camper which make me wake up, i look around for him but he was gone

"hoots" i cooed but there was no answer but instead sniper comes in

he looks at me then strokes me on my chest before getting into his bed and falling asleep, i decide to fly over to sniper and i stand in front of him, i then snuggle up to him near his head and i fall back to sleep again, a while later i feel something snuggle up next to me so i open one eye to see that it was hoots, i closed my eye again and went back to sleep, i woke up again the next morning on my own, i open my eye and i see that hoots is gone again and sniper sitting at the table,i stand up and shake so i can wake myself up fully, then sniper see me and he smiles at me, i coo and then i fly over to him

"hello archimedes" sniper says and he rubs his finger on my chest "have a good sleep?"

"yes" i cooed in responce even though i know only daddy can understand me

"good" sniper says "hoots is outside on his favourite tree and doc should be in his bedroom" 

i fly onto sniper's shoulder and run my head on his cheek like i do with daddy before i fly out of the camper to meet hoots, i see hoots in his tree and i sit by him

"hi hoots" i coo when i land next to hoots

"hello" he says "how did you sleep?" 

"really well, that bed your daddy sleeps on is comfy" i coo

"i know" hoots says and smiles "do you like my daddy?"

"yes, he's a good daddy" i cooed "you should come and meet my daddy, he's in his room" 

"ok" hoots says and we fly off to daddy's room

when we get there we both go though the gap in the window and we see daddy at his table so we fly down to meet him

"hi daddy" i coo at daddy

"hi archimedes" daddy says "i see you brought herr hootsalot with you" and he strokes hoots on the chest which hoots liked

"i like your daddy" hoots says "he gives good pets"

"so what did you do while you were with sniper?" daddy asked me after petting hoots

i told him that i slept with hoots for a bit then i fell asleep with sniper on his bed and i liked how comfy it was 

"aww" daddy says "sounds like you had a good time"

"yeah i did and i gave sniper a thank you rub before i came to find you" i cooed

daddy smiles and then rubs my chest

"we'll come on let's feed you your breakfast" daddy says and i jump on his shoulder 

we went to head to the room where daddy keeps the food and then i hear hoots fly next to me

"where we going?" hoots say

"we going to get breakfast" i coo

"oh that's nice" hoots says and then daddy pushes the doors open to the food room

when we head inside daddy goes over to the food then a mouse appears from under the bag, hoots see this and he dives towards the mouse, he manages to grab the mouse with his feet and he eats the mouse 

"thank you herr hootsalot" daddy says after hoots eats the mouse

hoots hoots happily then goes back on daddy's shoulder, daddy then takes the food bag out the food room and he takes it to mine and my siblings bedroom, when we get there daddy pours the seed onto the tray and me with my siblings fly to the seeds, daddy then leaves the room with hoots on his shoulder and i carry on eating, when i was full i fly out of the bedroom and went to join daddy and hoots at his desk, i land next to hoots and i see daddy writing something 

"archimedes" daddy says "can you deliver this to sniper for me?" and he hands me a thing

"ok daddy" i coo and i go off to find sniper

i get out of the gap in the window and i head over to sniper, when i get to his camper i see sniper setting up something (a hammock) i fly down to him and i land on his shoulder

"hmm" sniper says "oh hi archimedes, what you got there?" he sees the thing i had in my beack and i give it to him

sniper reads the note and he smiles

"ok" sniper says and i tilt my head in confusion

sniper sees that i was confused and he chuckles 

"the note said that doc wanted to borrow hoots for mouse catching and you can stay with me till hoots gets back" sniper explains 

"ok" i coo happily and sniper carries on what he was doing

after he was done he picks me up and he lies on the thing, he then puts me on his chest and strokes my head, i like the pets and i snuggle down and made myself poofy, i close my eyes and i was happy, a while later i could hear someone walking over

"hey snipes" the voice says sounding like scout's "why do you have doc's dove?" 

"well doc has my owl for catching a mouse infestation in his storage room so he let me have archimedes" sniper says

"oh ok cool" scout's voice says "see you later" and then i heard running 

as i was sleeping on sniper's chest i though that sniper is as good as daddy is so after thinking i decided to make sniper my other daddy and i will call him dad, i smiles then fall asleep, a while later i get woken up by someone grooming me so i open one eye to see hoots grooming my head

"hi" hoots says "i'm finished with medic now"

"ok" i coo sadly "but i was comfy here" 

"don't worry" hoots says "i can go back to medic if you like and you can stay here as long as you want"

"do you like daddy then?" i cooed

"yeah and i decided to call him my dad" hoots says 

"funny i decided to call your daddy my dad too" i cooed 

hoots grooms my head again and then he flies off to find daddy, i look at dad who was asleep and i smiles before falling back to sleep again, a while later i wake on my own this time and i stand up, i look at dad who was waking up himself and he sits up

"morning archimedes" dad says stroking my head

i coo then i notice that dad's feathers on his head looked messy so i fly ontop of his head and start grooming him, he though it was funny and he waited till i was finished, when i was done i fly onto dads finger and he pets my chest which made me poof up, then i hear footsteps and i look to see daddy with hoots

"i brought hoots back" daddy says to sniper

"oh good" dad says and hoots flies on his shoulder

i flying over to daddy and rub my head on his cheek

"thanks for taking care of archimedes for me" daddy says 

"your welcome" dad replies "and thanks for taking care of hoots"

"no problem" daddy says and dad stands up in front of daddy 

they give each other a look of love and then they touched becks with each other, me and hoots look at each other then we decided to copy, we go close to each other and we rubbed our becks on each other, when daddy and dad pulled away they were very blushes up but they still had their head together and me and hoots decided to go over to our tree, when we land in the tree we see daddy and dad walk off somewhere and we smiled

"i think it was a good idea to make your daddy my dad and my daddy your dad" hoots says 

"i agree" i reply and then we started grooming each other 

we then spend the rest of the days grooming each other and spending a lot of time together and i loved it, it was also nice to see my daddy and dad spending a lot of time together too, my name is archimedes and this was my story 

The End


End file.
